


War Records

by wilddragonflying



Series: Fallout Fic [4]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Kidnapping, Physical Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Scarring, and she shows Hancock some of it, listen kaili has a messed up past, talk about kidnapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 01:02:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17478323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilddragonflying/pseuds/wilddragonflying
Summary: Kaili shows Hancock some of her past.





	War Records

“Thank you!”

Kaili smiles, watching the young man and his father embrace. “It was no trouble,” she says, patting the pipe pistol hanging off of one hip - a knife is holstered to the other, as well as a high-powered rifle lying across her back. “Used to do this sort of thing all the time.”

“Still, there must be something I can do - “

Kaili waves a hand. “Really, it’s nothing. We gotta head on into Boston, though, but if you’re looking for a safe place to stay, there are beds open in the Castle and Sanctuary. Just tell ‘em Kaili sent you, they’ll let you in the gates.” It took another few moments before Kaili and Hancock could manage to successfully extricate themselves from the thankful drifters, but eventually they were on their way once again, Dogmeat running back and forth across the road in front of them, sniffing everything and peeing on half of it.

“So,” Hancock starts once they’re several minutes into their resumed journey; Kaili’s been waiting for him to speak, and she knows what he’s going to ask. “You used to kill kidnappers before the War?”

She sighs, adjusting her grip on her rifle slightly. “Sort of. My records were transferred to the Regional Vault-Tec HQ in Boston; it’ll be easier to show you them then tell you everything.”

It doesn’t quite satisfy the ghoul, she can tell, but Kaili really -  _really_  - doesn’t want to talk about this.

* * *

Still, she keeps her word and takes them to the Regional Vault-Tec HQ; they clear out the feral ghouls and raiders, and then she hacks into the vault where residents’ records were stored. It’s easy enough to find hers, and after resetting the Protectrons and security turrets, she pops the first holotape into the terminal.

It’s a news recording; the anchor is waxing poetic about her first mission. “First mission out, completely successful,” Kaili supplies. “Three hostages, minimal security; sniper bullet on the perimeter guards and pistols took out the rest.” There are a few more new reports as well as official clerk records, and then Kaili puts in a tape that, if she’s right, is one of the few surviving pictures of her pre-War.

It opens on her sitting in a chair across from the camera; she’s still in her army fatigues, blocky camo even fuzzier on the radiation-bathed tape. “ _My name is Kaili Swesson,_ ” she says, enunciating clearly. “ _Rank unspecified as per security measures; main mission: retrieving hostages of the resource wars and eliminating the threat of their kidnappers._ ” When Kaili glances at Hancock, the mayor is watching the terminal screen with an expression of awe on his face.

“You don’t look much different - more scars, different type of confidence, but that’s still you.” Kaili chuckles dryly.

“Yeah, this was me.” The recording goes on to interview her on different techniques and scenarios, asking difficult questions. Her superiors had been impressed with her; she’d been out on four missions at the time, two solo, and all with 100% success rates.

The next recording is another news report. “ _This just in - we’re receiving news that a heavily-anticipated hostage rescue mission has failed. Reports have come in that the compound was blown up, likely the work of the insurgents who commandeered it. No word yet on body count or if any hostages or agents survived._ ” There’s a brief blackness, and then: “ _Bodies have been identified from the exploded compound early this week - only one agent was inside when the compound was destroyed, and the agent is in critical condition but alive. Five of the seventeen recovered bodies have been positively identified as those of the hostages the agent was sent to recover. No official statements yet on what went wrong._ ”

“‘What went wrong’ was I didn’t notice one security camera,” Kaili answers bitterly. “I didn’t notice it, but the insurgents noticed me, and they didn’t take any chances. They triggered a self-destruct sequence that started in the hostages’ cells. They died instantaneously, and I got this.” She points to the ugly mass of burn scarring on her right cheek. “The doctors offered to reconstruct it for me, but I refused. A reminder to never be so careless again. That was the first of only two failed missions in a ten-year career.”

“And the second?” Hancock asks, curious but gentle at the same time.

Kaili’s mouth twists into a mirthless smile. “Bad intel - outdated intel. The hostages had been dead for days by the time I got there.”

“Oh.”

They don’t speak for the next few tapes, and then one comes up that shows two men; one is a man in a doctor’s coat, stethoscope around his neck, and the other is carrying a notebook, a pair of bifocals perched on his nose.

“ _The physical damage alone is horrific,_ ” the doctor says, gesturing to a folder on the table in front of him. The pictures are flipped through, revealing evidence of numerous bruises, poorly-set bones, and more burnt scar tissue. “ _I hope every last one of these bastards are now rotting in Hell; no human being should ever have to endure what they put her through._ ”

“ _They are._ ” The voice of Kaili’s direct superior, a man she’d only known as Mr. Johnson, comes across the tape. “ _What about psychologically?_ ”

“ _They had her for five months._ ” This time the bespectacled man speaks - Dr. Yen, her unit’s psychiatrist. “ _As Dr. March has already shown you, the physical damage is quite extensive. The psychological is no less so. It will be years before she can function as a human being again - if she ever can._ ”

“ _Swesson is tough,_ ” Johnson says, voice sure. “ _But you’re right. It’ll be months before she’s anywhere near physically ready, and even after she’s mentally ready to return to the field, I’m going to postpone it, or possibly reassign or even forcibly retire her. It’s a miracle she managed to save as many people as she did, and those bastards made sure she suffered for it._ ”

There’s more talk - recovery times, possible treatments, and a whole lot of medical jargon that still goes over Kaili’s head, but she can see Hancock looking at her with a worried expression. “We received word from a partner agency that a group we’d been tracking for about a year had finally established a base. That intel was good, but what wasn’t was the fact that the base had actually been there all along, and they were much better prepared than we’d thought. We were outmanned and outgunned; I got a team inside and to the prisoners, and then led the way out. We’d almost made it when we were trapped. I gave myself up, fighting to keep the enemy off of my team. They had me for five months, and they… did a lot of things.”

Kaili takes a deep breath before admitting, “One of the things was a clock counting down the minutes until the next ‘session.’ It started beeping faster at random intervals, so I never knew when they’d show up and when it was a false alarm. That’s why I can’t go near super mutants - the suiciders’ timers make the exact same noise.” Hancock had firsthand experience with what happened when Kaili was faced with a super mutant suicider; if he hadn’t managed to shoot the bomb before it’d gone off the first time they’d been ambushed by a squad, Kaili would be dead. She’d completely shut down, had even crumpled to the ground in the middle of the fight. Hancock had been forced to carry her to safety.

“Surely that’s not the only thing,” Hancock prods gently.

“It’s not,” Kaili admits. “But it’s the only thing I can’t compartmentalize. The raiders - they look and act a lot like the insurgents did. But I can separate the events, or at least hold it together long enough to get to safety most times. It was more difficult when I first came out of the Vault, but I’ve got a handle on it now.” Hancock lays a commiserating hand on her shoulder, and Kaili gives him a grateful smile before taking his hand in hers and squeezing it lightly and playing the next tape.

This one is from three years later - Kaili, noticeably skinnier and more haggard, is sitting catty-corner to the camera. “ _Mr. Johnson, I want to get back out there. My psych evals -_ “

“ _Are showing that you have made enormous improvements, yes,_ ” Johnson interrupts, “ _but the fact remains that you spent five months in the hands of the enemy, and you refuse to tell us exactly what they did to you. I’m not going to risk you again, Swesson - and you will never do a solo mission again._ ”

“ _With all due respect, sir, I’m not going to just go back to civilian life and sit with my thumbs up my ass, either,_ ” the Kaili on screen snaps. “ _I’ve seen war firsthand, and I’ve seen what those rat-fucking jerks can do firsthand, too. You can’t reasonably expect me to just sit out the rest of the fight, not when I could be doing something to help._ ”

“ _I can, and I am,_ ” Johnson says sharply. “ _You’ll be paid full salary, of course - it’s the least we can do - but I will not reassign you to hostage rescue_.”

“ _Then assign me somewhere else, but I’m not going back to civilian life until this war is over!”_

“ _Swesson! This is not a matter for debate. You are being taken off of active duty, and that’s final._ ”

That’s where the holotape ends, but before Hancock can say anything,  Kaili’s already loaded up the next one. On the screen, Kaili - a bit more physically put-together, though something about the eyes suggests a lack of sleep due to hypervigilance - opens the door. “ _You wished to see me, Mr. Johnson?_ ”

“ _Come in. Allow me to get straight to the point: Do you still wish to return to active duty, with the full understanding that you will be entering another war zone and that you must perform without mistake or risk the lives of those on your team?_ ”

Kaili holds her head high as she says, “ _I do._ ”

There’s a sigh, and then, “ _Then I may have a solution. A new team is being formed - snipers and Power Armor Soldiers. They need the best snipers we have, and you’re one of them. If you truly wish to return to active duty, then that’s where I’ll assign you. You’ll go to war zones, but you won’t be in the thick of things - the only time you’ll see action is through a scope. Understood?_ ”

“ _Yes, sir._ ” This time, the holotape skips into more news recordings - all of successful missions.

“Nate was my partner from the start,” Kaili says, watching a reporter praise their team for a successful terrier hunt - digging an insurgent out of his lair like a terrier after a rat. “I never got within ten yards of a physical fight for the rest of the years I was wish the army; the rest of my fighting was done with guns. When I was looking down the barrel of a rifle or through a scope, it felt like nothing could touch me.

“When we left, after five years of fighting, it didn’t take long for us to realize that we couldn’t trust anyone else the way we did each other. Getting married just made us partners in every way. My baby, Shaun - he’s not actually mine. He’s Nate’s nephew; Nate’s sister and brother-in-law were killed during a riot, and Nate took Shaun in. We’d had him for three months when the bombs dropped.”

“Why did you go back?” Hancock asks. “I mean, to the war, in the first place. If they were going to pay you full salary - “

“Because people always say that war never changes,” Kaili answers, “but it does. It’s constantly changing - why it’s fought, what it’s fought with - but the thing that truly stays the same? It’s the soldiers. You don’t stop being a soldier just because you’re not in a war zone. I needed to get back out there for a lot of reasons, Hancock - partly because I knew that I was one of the best damn agents this country had ever had, but mostly because if I didn’t? If I just went back to Sanctuary Hills and spent the rest of my days licking my wounds and watching the war through a reporter’s eyes, I never would have healed. I had to face this head-on, to prove to myself that I could survive the aftermath, not just the torture itself. Maybe that’s selfish, but that’s what I needed to do, and that’s what I ended up doing, and I ended up saving a lot more lives because I refused to go back to civilian life.”

Hancock is quiet for a moment or two, then he’s leaning forward to press a kiss to Kaili’s cheek; the woman freezes for a moment, caught off-guard, and he offers her a smile. “For what it’s worth, I think you made the right call. And I know that I’m proud to know you, and I’m grateful beyond words that you showed me these records.”

Kaili gives Hancock a small, shy smile, something twisting pleasantly in her gut when he returns it. “You’re welcome. I trust you, Hancock.”

His answering smile is almost blinding.


End file.
